my tears run with the wind, winding down my skinny arms. down, down, down. the blood is traveling up, climbing the hills of bones that stick out in my arm. up, up, up.

they meet halfway; like romeo and juliet, they hesitate before the truth is spilled, waiting for the moment to take a risk, try to lose it all. except they kill themselves in the end, and i don't want to die; i only want to hurt.

just long enough to say 'i told you so' to the air; whisper laughter into the leaves and wait for the raccoons to find the blood-splattered cloths in the garbage, next to the laughing leaves.

a kiss survived only by the evidence; forgotten by the time i've washed it away.



[ © ; a d r i a n ]
not a productive day. DX

mimed words and forgotten sentiments line the roof of my mouth, coat the backs of my teeth. tart coffee and cold toast are trying to make their way into my stomach, but the heaves just keep pushing them back out. soon there will only be tears inside of me, but at some point even they have to leave town; just like everyone else.

stumbled memories and fallen telephone messages are propelling me to the cupboard where i keep them. they are waiting for me, soon they will hug my stomach and cover the bloody lines. they will make it all better.

two, four, six, eight, ten; an even amount. the bitter taste falls down my throat like bungee-jumping; i hear them hit my empty stomach, dissolve into a mix of acids ready to take me down.

the drops of blood don't startle the carpet; instead the carpet welcomes them, ready to take responsibility for my actions. and while they drip, drip, drip, the clock goes tick, tick, tick; taking the minutes away, letting the moments slide away into oblivion.

there is a loud noise, and some shuffling, some drips and ticks and some sighs of relief; i think this is the end, where i say goodbye to my friends, kiss them away. but instead i get to hug the cold, granite floor, kiss the bile rising in my throat, hold the empty pill bottle.

i get nothing more than i gave.



[ © ; a d r i a n ]
but still death comes to greet me with a smile.

if green is for go
and yellow is for
caution and red
is for stop than
what are the
other colours for?

if the sun means
happiness and the
moon means cross-
eyed lovers than
what do the rain and
the clouds mean?

if you and i are
meant to be and
you and her are
done and gone
than what is she
doing with you in
our bed?

if everything is
supposed to be
something than
what happens to
the things life
doesn't have any
answers for?

they let it slip.



[ © ; a d r i a n ]
ican'tthinkofanythingtowrite.