look through the
glass alice look
at the pretty
leaves falling
down and sitting
there like they
have nothing to
do.

look at the way
he steps on them
all alice the way
he smiles and
just jumps on
them like there
are no limitations
in life.

you know different
alice yes you are
a good girl who
would never ever
in her life smile
and laugh to
herself like a crazy
person no you
would normally
step over the
crunchy leaves
now wouldn't
you?

wait alice wait is
that you out there
too laughing and
smiling and jumping
on those poor leaves
is it you who has
broken out of your
orderly life for one
of laughter and
sweaty smiles is it
you who is now
touching his face
and smiling softly
is it you alice or am
i seeing something
different through the
looking glass?



[ © ; a d r i a n ]
alice, please, stop kidding yourself. he would never fall for a girl like you.

up the hill and
through the
trees you will
see a bench
where i will
be sitting and
waiting for you
and i will be
smiling my
special smile
and you will
be blushing
and wondering
what this is
about and i
will say it's
about not
wasting what
we have and
spending it
all together like
there is no
tomorrow.


[ © ; a d r i a n ]
first high school open house; i didn't like the school. and now i'm scared for high school. D:

i changed for you, but you changed for me too, and we only missed our chance by a breadth.

it wasn't hard; changing my image. in the summer i got skinnier on a diet, i got my hair done in shades of auburn and brown, changed my wardrobe for low-rise skinny jeans, mini-skirts and low-cut shirts.

when we came back to school, it was like i'd transferred in. i pretended i did, seeing as no one remembered me, not even my teachers. the popular girls sat with me at lunch, laughed with me in class, and drew jokes on the desks in detention. everyone wanted to be like me, walk like me, talk like me, get with me; but i only needed the whole thing for you, wanted you. just. you.

but never once did you see me, talk to me, laugh at my sneering jokes. you were all of a sudden not. that. boy. you had changed for the better and i had changed for the worse. i wonder whether you knew it was all for you, but i don't think so, seeing as that cold november day last year differs.

two days from now, will mark the day. you had had a friend of yours come up to me and give me a note, telling me to stand at the edge of the courtyard, and at exactly 4:09 p.m., light a fag. i laughed nervously, thinking about the fact that i hated cigarettes, but if it was for you, and i knew it was, it was all okay.

i asked camilla for a smoke, and told her i was doing something with my parents later, and i needed something to take my mind off it. she complied with a cool, easy smile. i smiled the same one back; you were mine.

4:09 came and went, and there you were. you came up to me, laughed, took the cigarette out of my mouth, and threw it to the ground. i was scared, excited, confused even. you stopped laughing abruptly and gave me another note, the same writing as earlier on it.

'dear haley,

i loved you for who you were, how you'd nod along with the lesson, laugh to yourself when something wasn't funny unless you thought about it. the way you'd bite you lips in thought, and survey the room with eyes so bright.
but then you changed. i don't know why; somehow you just became popular. you lied and said you'd changed courses and come here. you were lying. i couldn't believe it.
i wish you were the same as before, but i guess people really do change.

love,
george.'


sometimes when your heart skips a beat, and it's replaced with silence, you think you've died.
i only wish that'd happened to me.




[ © ; a d r i a n ]
i am boredd. XD